There is an old saying: it is always the disciple who calls the master into her life. This is what happened to me, though at first I seemed to have met her “by accident”.
I had been wanting to have a baby and since it didn’t work out for quite a while, I realized that my physical symptoms may be due to psychological causes. When I saw my future Master in a seemingly innocent talk on parenting, I knew I had to find her to ask her about the subject.
At the time, she would still have people over for personal meetings, so I could go to see her in the comfort of a small meditation room in her apartment. I remember sitting on the floor and jiggling around on the bamboo rug that made a buzzing sound (I think because of the excitement and the clean and very sharp look of the Master), even though I was really trying to behave. There was a beautiful, huge, stone Buddha statue in the room on a tiny altar that defined the atmosphere of the small room.
Back then I was used to being in control of my life, I would lead the discussions, I would influence others, I would get what I want. Here I guessed it would probably go differently, so I arrived quite openly, but the conversation exceeded all of my expectations. The meeting lasted for 15 minutes tops, and in fact I couldn’t ask my questions about having a baby. My Master, said, kindly but strictly and in a non-dramatic tone, in fact most naturally,
“Everything is but an illusion.”
She probably said other things as well, but this sentence struck me so hard that it was the only thing that stayed with me. (She did not talk about having a baby at all, she just recommended a couple of yoga exercises.)
As I left, I had to grab onto the rails in the staircase and lean against the cold wall so I wouldn’t faint. I stood there for a few minutes and tried to “stay alive,” but I knew it was one of the most important moments of my life. I knew I had no choice, she would be my Master. (Before this, I wasn’t really interested in spiritual teachings, I had no other masters, and I didn’t meditate.) From then on, I wanted to learn from her and discover the truth she had talked about.
I have been her student for eight years now, and Enlightenment is my most sacred goal that I want to accomplish no matter what. My gratitude is inexpressible.
The icing on the cake was that I became pregnant on the night of our encounter, and my beautiful little boy has been a continuous blessing in my life ever since. 😊
